First 5 Nevada County’s Blog

The Unintentional Family Bed

May 2, 2008

posted by Carol White

For a family that hasn’t really ever been “family bed” people, we sure have a lot of family in our bed. My first daughter has mostly always been in her own bed, partly because she likes it that way, and partly because I wasn’t going to have a “family bed” when she was born.  But then I had a second baby, and loosened up (a lot).  

My second daughter used to start the evening in her own bed in the room she shared with her sister.  That would last for maybe a couple of hours and then she’d be in our bed for most of the night.  I loved having her in bed with me, and still do.  She is the warmest, snuggliest, loviest little lump next to me in the middle of the night.  She is now five and probably ends up in our bed around 3 or 4 a.m. most nights.  While I’d have her there all the time, my husband doesn’t love having her in our bed.  It’s a queen, she is getting pretty big, and it’s quite cozy with her there.

When we put the kids to bed at night, I get a chance to sleep with my older daughter.  She is eight, and we have gone through every imaginable scenario of bedtime routine.  My husband and I have taken turns putting the kids to bed.  We have had the children put themselves to bed (good luck).  We’ve had them fall asleep on their own, and we’ve had them fall asleep with us.  

Now, they are 5 and 8, and while I’m sure they are perfectly capable of falling asleep on their own, they will only go to sleep with a grown up.  My husband and I alternate who puts who to bed, so one night I’ll put my younger daughter to bed, and the next night I’ll put my older daughter to bed.  We finally figured out, after lots of fighting, that they need a little time at the end of the day without their sibling.  

Personally, I love the one-on-one time with each child at bedtime.  We read stories, talk about our days, and then we fall asleep with them.  My husband often gets up and reads, and I almost always stay in bed.  I’m making up for years of lost sleep.  And, it’s my chance to wrap myself around their little bodies and hope they never get any bigger.

Entry Filed under: Parenting. Tags: bedtime, family bed, sleep.